Amazon Store

I have an Amazon store now, so any and all things mentioned in the last few posts and mentioned in the future will be easily accessible by clicking on that little link on the right of my blog!

Doodle Dolls

We are on a strict budget in our family, making me very mindful of how much "fun" money I have each month.
I saw this item at Barnes and Noble about a month ago and didn't impulse buy, due to the new budget restrictions.
However, I keep thinking about it and I'm going to buy it!
And, yes, I'm buying it for myself, though I suppose I'll share with my three year old -- I have always loved paper dolls and coloring, so this is just the best of both worlds.
And now I see it's $2 cheaper on Amazon!

Favorite Baby Items

Well, this may be funny given the post a few below this about "No one is missing" but we are expecting our second child, and it has me thinking about all my favorite baby things we used with our first and the one item I never bought when we had her that I wish I had.

So that first item is an Ergo -- I balked at the price, but now that I see how many YEARS of use my friends get out of them (per child!), I wish I had gotten one.  I'm definitely getting one now, especially since we'll be on the go even more than I was when I had my first, since we'll be going all over town doing the things the four year old loves to do.

The carrier I did have and loved and will definitely use again is the Moby wrap -- it just didn't last as long as the weight limit indicates, as it would get too stretched out to really work for any length of time.  But for several months, it was the only carrier I used, and I loved it. My daughter would fall asleep in it almost immediately every time I put her in it to go for a walk.
I've had people tell me that they find it intimidating, since it's a very long piece of fabric that you have to tie around yourself each time you use it.  But, honestly, after you put it on twice, it'll just be second nature and takes very little time to put on.
I got lots of compliments on it when my daughter was young about how nice it looked and how comfortable it looked for both of us, and that is all true:)

An item that we gave away and now will be getting a new one from a friend is a play gym -- we used ours quite a bit with our daughter, and I think with a second child, it'll definitely be nice to have an interesting place for the baby to play during those times I need to have one-on-one time with my older child.
There are so many options out there for play gyms, but two of my favorites are this Skip Hop one and the Tiny Love one we had for our daughter.

My absolute favorite piece of "gear" we had for our first (and we did hang onto this one just in case, and I'm so glad!) is the Fisher Price Zen swing.
I loved the look of it, as it wasn't bright and primary colors, but instead looked great in our apartment, and we really wanted the papasan style swing for her.
The swing can swing either direction (side-to-side or front-to-back) which is great since some babies are picky about which way they go.
Also, something I didn't realize before we got it which ended up being our favorite thing:  The seat is easily detachable from the swing base, and therefore becomes an independent seat.  My daughter sat in that seat in our bathroom every single day for the first three months of her life, while I took a shower, and peeked out at her every so often to begin establishing object permanence;)  The easy portability of that seat is amazing, as it has handles on the side, letting you move even a sleeping baby in it from room to room.
Also, the cover is easily detachable and machine washable -- a must!

Favorite Things

I started a new blog with a list of some of our current favorite things, but no one really knows about it. This one has been around long enough to have an audience:)

 A few of our favorite things include: The book Everybody Cooks Rice -- my three year old loves reading about the different cultures and recipes, trying chopsticks and picking a recipe from the back to make for dinner (it was rici e bisi!)

 Another favorite are the Usborne sticker dolly dressing books. The first one we got is still my favorite: Around the World. But Dream Jobs and Fashion Long Ago are awesome too.

 Finally, forever and always a favorite will be Keva planks -- someone is getting some for her birthday (don't tell her:). For now, we enjoy them at the grandparents' when we visit and at our local science museum. The creativity they bring out and fun for all ages make them one of my favorites of all time.

We Will Come Running

With the notable exception of the two nights I gave into peer pressure (regretfully) and let my daughter cry it out until my husband asked me "What do you WANT to do?" in response to my "What should we do?" as she cried and cried. I said "I want to go rock her to sleep!". "So do that!". Wiser words were never spoken. Yes, I went and rocked her to sleep that night and many many nights thereafter.

And what nights do I regret?

The ones where I spent an hour or more rocking her to sleep? No.

The two where I made her cry.

If I could change one thing in my 3.5 years of parenting, it would be those two nights.

Why?

Because it went against everything we believed as parents.

Because instead of teaching her to "know you won't come for every little thing" as some people advised, no, no, we want her to know we will come running if she needs us.

When she was a newborn, we wanted her to know that if she cried, we were on our way.

When she was six months old and cried, we wanted her to know we were running to see what she needed.

When she was one and called out 'Mama' in the middle of the night, we wanted her to know that we would wake up and get into her room for a hug and a snuggle and, yes, almost always a nurse.

When she was two and called out 'Mommy!' in the night, we wanted her to know we were coming...and again, almost always a nurse:)

She is 3.5 and just woke up on her floor where she decided to camp out on her 'spaceship bed' tonight. She cried out 'Mommy!' and I went in for a hug and moved her to her bed and stayed until she was asleep (this only took about 90 seconds:).

Why?

Because I want her to know I am here.

And why is that so important?

Because when she starts kindergarten and someone is unkind to her, we want her to know that we are here to talk to about it and give her hugs and tell her that she is our favorite girl and that she is a wonderful person.

Because when she is ten and isn't invited to a friend's birthday party, we want her to know that we are here to share in the hurt and disappointment.

Because when she is twelve and achieves a long worked for goal, we want her to know that we are here to celebrate, and celebrate we will!

Because when she is fourteen and tries alcohol or smoking or drugs, we want her to know we are here to talk to about all of those things and guide her into better decisions.

Because when she is seventeen and tells us she wants to go on the pill, we want her to know that we are here to walk through that with her.

Because when she is away at college and wakes us in the night with a phone call, we want her to know that we are here and awake in a flash just like now when we are right down the hall.

Because when she has her first baby, we want her to know that we are here for care and support and to say 'Trust yourself. Trust your baby. You've got this, and we are here to do what we can.'

So that's why we were okay with sleepless nights and feet in our faces and ribs and long nursing sessions in the middle of the night (yes, I kind of miss those - the feet in my face are here to stay for now;).

Because it all lays a foundation.

One that says "We are here. And we are running to meet you where you need us."

No one is missing

This is for the linkup at Kelly's Korner.
I have a private family blog and rarely use this one but please comment/message me if you would like because I would LOVE to meet more one child moms - it feels so right for us but also unusual:)

We tried to get pregnant for two years before we finally did.
We always thought we would have three kids close together and still thought that even after our daughter was born. Then there was a shift sometime before she turned one - thankfully, my husband and I had that shift at the same time!:)

We started to talk about it and say "You know what? This is pretty great!"

The best way to describe it is that I don't feel like anyone is missing.
But I do wonder sometimes if we are robbing our daughter of something. I have a brother and always loved being a big sister from day one (we are 2.5 years apart).
My husband is an only child and loved that, but he also wants to make the right choice for all of us.
My mom reminds me that not all siblings get along - in fact it can be the worst relationship of your life. So we don't want to make a choice simply based on "Siblings are great!"

We are young. I'm only 28, and my husband is 27. So we have time to change our minds but really don't think we will:)

I love spending my days with my daughter and watch other moms get frazzled and have to split their time and I just don't know if I would be good at that. I get frazzled enough at times as it is!:)

Anyway I would love to meet some of you!!!

That's Not My God

*This is a repeat of a note I wrote several months ago.  The phrase has been playing in my head (and in some conversations) over and over this week, as I have seen shocking, appalling statements being made by people who I know and who claim to know the God that I know.  So I feel the need to post this again, with a few additions in the "That's not my God" section.*

 

Some of you know my background better than others, some of you because you were there for a lot of it:)

I was raised in a home with Christian parents, and we went to church regularly.

I also went to a Christian school...a very strict, legalistic Christian school. Just telling it like it is...I'm aware that some people will be offended by that statement, but I am pretty big on telling the truth. Thankfully, my parents did not have the same legalistic viewpoints, so I was able to go to that school and hear these statements about the Bible and God and come home and talk them over with my parents and come to a different conclusion than what I was being told at school. As I got older, I was able to study things out for myself and go "Hmmm, not what I'm seeing in that passage in Scripture. Interesting."

 

A phrase I often repeated in high school was "That's not my God." Most often, it would be my response when someone would say (as strangely it was often said) "You're going to have to stand before God on Judgment Day and answer for all the things you've done wrong." And I would sit there and think (and occasionally say, if I was feeling overly sassy at the time) "I'm not sure what God you're talking about, but that's not my God."

 

Jay's and my journey of choosing to not attend a church service at this point in time is very much centered around that phrase: That's not my God.

There was too much happening in the church (at large, not just a specific church, though that was certainly the case as well) that we would sit there and say "That's not my God" about.

Things would be said from up front in a church service that we would say "That's not my God" about.

Things would be done by people in the church, in the name of God, that we would say "That's not my God" about.

And as new parents, we sat and looked at our precious, sleeping baby and said "I don't ever want her to know that other God. I want her to know the true God. I don't want there to be any confusion about who God is. Because that other God isn't my God."

 

I think (okay, I know:) our decision to not attend church services has caused confusion and concern for some people who know us.

So let me be clear: We made this decision, not because we don't care about God and the church, but because we love them so much. We don't want to be a part of something that misrepresents God's name and who he is, because we care too much about him and his reputation in the world.

We didn't step back from attending a church service out of apathy for God; we stepped back, because we could no longer stand to be a part of something that so grossly misrepresented our God.

 

Every time I see something in the news about a "church" protesting a soldier's funeral, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I see some hatred towards homosexuals being spewed forth, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I see people using their (so-called) power and authority in a local church to lord it over others and frankly abuse people, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear a pastor say "Well, we here at such-and-such local church are doing things so much better than those churches down the street" I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I see someone use Scripture to support their unloving attitude towards others, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I see a husband abuse a certain verse in Scripture as support for forcing his wife to submit to him, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I see a parent twist Scripture to support the fact that they are keeping their children down and not allowing them the freedom to choose their own way in life, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I have an unloving thought towards someone, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear someone speak of God as someone who's watching over our shoulder just waiting for us to do something wrong so he can punish us, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear someone spew forth lies about how a natural disaster is God's judgment on a certain group of people, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear someone say that we need to work hard to be good so that God will be pleased with us and bless us, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear of someone who is afraid to stand up for what is right for fear of personal repercussions, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear someone speak as though the United States of America is God's chosen people and gift to the rest of the world, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear someone say "I'm afraid of where our country is going," I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I have a fearful thought that something terrible will happen to someone I care about, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear someone saying that God would want us to burn another religious group's holy books, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear someone saying that a mosque has no place somewhere in our country, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear someone claiming that Christians should have religious freedom at the cost of all others having religious freedom, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I see someone using Scripture to support their bigoted views of their fellow human beings, I think "That's not my God."

 

Every time I hear of church "leaders" abusing their power, I think "That's not my God."

 

As time goes on, Jay and I are more and more sure that there aren't as many people who know our God, as claim to know our God.

And I say that with no happiness and no pride; I say it with deep sadness.

(And at the same time, we believe there are many more people who know our God, who are not in the evangelical churches we grew up in.)

I wish everyone could know the God I know.

I hope my daughter comes to know the God I know. And that is why we don't want to be a part of a group of people who so horribly misrepresent him to the rest of the world.

I don't want to misrepresent him, and I certainly don't want my child to have any confusion about who God is.

I want people to know my God, not this horrible caricature that others have made of him.